A Faraway Journey

     Five years ago, a girl naively got onto a economy class flight to Miami. Then she spent 7 hours on a layover and got on another flight to the real adventure. (You didn't think she'd stay in Miami did you?) Quito, Ecuador soared into view a few hours later and unbeknownst to her, it would be a country that set the course for her life. She spent 10 days travelling hours by bus on unlit highways, encountering bugs she'd rather forget, and people she would always remember. The passion and colors of several cultures swirled around her and captivated her soul, but the one thing that stood out among everything else was the language.

     Weird right? If you couldn't guess, that girl was me on a missions trip to Ecuador at 16 years old with only half a semester of Spanish. I know for most, the place itself is the main reason for travelling, but for me, that one moment of comprehension, the light of understanding in another person's eyes when you have said something to them in their own tongue is equally thrilling. That trip didn't give me a starry eyed view of the jungle and send me home aching for another experience somewhere different, but gave me a deep seated passion for the Spanish language.

     So fast forward five years and seven language classes later, here I am. Two months out from getting on another (economy class) flight to the same place that stirred up my passion. I must admit the circumstances of this trip are highly different, and there is much less nativity on this journey which brings a lot less courage as well. This trip will consist of  four months studying a language that I still feel completely inept at, living with a family I know nothing about, and on top of it all I don't exactly blend in. There are so many unknowns, so many sleepless nights and panic attacks because I just don't think I'm cut out for it.

     Ahh, but there is another whole side of the story. The whole process of getting everything together for this journey has been incredibly stressful, but gives me no doubt that this is what I should be doing, no matter how difficult. My passport took 8 weeks to get and my visa didn't come together until the last possible moment which was positively what I needed to see if this is really what I was meant to do. If I mention this process of getting to where I am today without saying that it was undoubtedly God that orchestrated every step of the way I am blatantly ignoring the hand of God in my life.

     Another thing that has been such a reminder to me that I am not only meant to do this, but that I *can* do this is a word taken from the language that I love so much. I ran across it in my last Spanish course and immediately remembered it, because it is a concept I have such a hard time with. The word is "Alcanzar" and it means literally "To be enough". It caught my attention so severely because I had never heard a word that so captured the concept that takes several words in English to get across. It can also mean "To achieve" or "To reach" as in reaching a goal. This one word so greatly signified what I needed to hear, I can achieve this, I am enough, I can reach this goal that I have set because God knows what I can handle, even though I don't.

     The thought of leaving my home, husband, family, friends, and overall comforts of the familiar here in the states still terrifies me, but knowing that I cannot leave my relationship with Jesus behind is a great comfort. I know that I cannot plan for the unknowns ahead, but I will just leave with this quote.

Anxiety has always been such a vice for me, has always had such a grip on my life, I don't want it to have a hold on me anymore and I think this will be just the thing that will set me free.

Love always,
MS