So week two is over and done with. Why was today so hard?

You know, I would have thought that I was going to have my major freak outs the first week I was here, but here I am, Sunday afternoon sitting in my room and feeling completely and utterly alone. I knew this would come, but I just find it interesting it's now. Maybe now that I've had time to adjust and some of the shock and feeling of fight or flight has gone it's really sinking in that I'm going to be here a while.

Horrible right? In a tropical paradise for 4 months? It can't get any worse...

Honestly though, it may be beautiful, thrilling and a great adventure, but it doesn't mean it comes without some downfalls. As good old Sam said:

The brave things in the old tales and songs Mr. Frodo; adventures, as I used to call them. I used to think that they were things the wonderful folk of the stories went out and looked for, because they wanted them, because they were exciting and life was a bit dull, a kind of sport, as you might say. But that's not the way of it with the tales that really mattered, or the ones that stay in the mind. Folk seem to have been just landed in them, usually-their paths were laid that way, as you put it. But I expect they had lots of chances, like us, of turning back only they didn't. And if they had, we shouldn't know, because they'd have been forgotten.

Alright my nerd is showing, but seriously, Samwise here has got a good point. Adventures are never what you expect them to be, nor are they fun all of the time. Most of the time you don't even ask to be in them, and although they are fulfilling and strengthening as well as exciting, they aren't always fun. I guess if it were like going to the movies with your pals everyday or like summer vacation, everyone would do it and it wouldn't be such an adventure.

This isn't to say I haven't had enjoyable experiences so far, actually I've started to learn to find joy in the little things in life here. Like when you hand the guy at the bus station a dollar, and he gives you a 50 cent coin and 2 quarters instead of a quarter and a handful of dimes, nickels and pennies. Or when you go to get on the bus back home and you find that it's one of the ones with the yellow handles and proper covers over the engines so you don't burn your feet on the floor. Or when the guard meets you in the elevator, patiently explains that the power has gone out, and hands you a few oranges that he just bought down the road.

So, all that to say the last thing in the world I want to do is demonize this country and make it sound like the worst possible place on the planet. It's quite the contrary. Not only have I met extremely nice Ecuadorians, but I have also met dozens of sweet Americans as well, which is giving me hope for my own country and our generation.

Honestly I can't say I know where I'm going with this post, most of the time I don't have a plan, but I usually stick to a particular topic. Here I think I just feel the need to organize my thoughts, and really analyze the person I am and why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. It's funny how leaving your country gets you to do that, because when I was in the states, I was completely sure of who I was culturally and socially. But coming here, I realized just what a huge part of my life that was, and with that gone, I've needed to do some reevaluating.

Which is where this dude comes in.

This song could not be more appropriate for me right now. If I were to hold up a sign right now it would say "Lost", but this has been such a wonderful reminder that not only does God know where I am, but He put me here for a purpose greater than myself.

I am found.

I am beloved.

I am His.

Love you guys,
MS<3