A bump in the road

     So this morning I've been thinking a lot about school, which makes sense because it starts in less than three weeks. I often feel like anxiety and nervousness can take over my thinking because of how people will perceive me, what my teachers will be like, or what people will make of my faith. This negative feeling often manifests itself in feeling inadequate as a person, and results in my looking to material things to feel confident in myself. Almost as if I had those new pair of jeans, or cute red pumps, I could somehow raise a barrier of confidence and self worth about myself in order to prevent others from seeing my vulnerability.

     I guess this isn't news to anyone who has ever interacted with people outside of their homes. The fear of man, or what people think, is such a strong force in our lives that it can tend to control every aspect if we let it. Like my example of having a certain sense of style, sometimes when I get to class I feel inferior because of the things others have. Then, when I have confidence in how I look at home, I get to class and feel too dressed up! This is a rather shallow example, and I don't always have such a complex with how I look, but it goes to show that my insecurities can manifest themselves in the smallest most detailed aspects of my life.

     Here's where some may think I get preachy, but I can not express how thankful I am that there is so much encouragement and peace found in Scripture regarding this subject. Here are some of my favorite verses when I'm feeling insecure or like my self worth is down the drain:

"In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?"
Psalm 56:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, 'Declares the LORD,' plans of welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope"
Jeremiah 29:11

     I love the first verse because of the simple truth of it. Trust God, and don't worry about anyone else. Now, although this truth is simple to understand, it's not easy to follow. Trusting in the Lord and leaving the opinions of others behind is directly against our natural instinct to please others. However, once this becomes more real, more of my everyday breathing in life, facing the world becomes that much easier.

     Speaking of facing the world, I find that rather difficult to do at times as well. Sometimes I just want to throw the blankets over my head, and not come out until who knows when. But because of that hope, and that future that God promises, I can get up everyday and look forward to the life that I know God has carefully prepared for me. It's amazing, that He has a life tailored to me that will bring growth and fulfillment into my life, and ultimately will bring glory to Him.

     Life would be so easy if it wasn't for all of the people, but unfortunately, there are people *everywhere* you go. The thing I'm slowly learning is, although people have opinions and views that I may never match up to, I am always seen as beautiful and worthy in the eyes of my Savior.

<3MS